i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
