i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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