After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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