talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
