It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
