if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
