I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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