I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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