Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
