I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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