i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
