At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
