I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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