I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
