We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
