I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
