My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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