Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
