you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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