I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
