What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
