Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
