i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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