I'm drive I can fine osifer
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Randomize
