"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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