I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
