Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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