her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
