I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
