i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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