he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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