I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
