ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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