i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
