You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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