what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
