D3 body, D1 cock
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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