You really coming over, don't trick.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
