this just has baby written all over it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
