I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
