I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
