Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
