This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
