Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
