i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
