no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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