I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
