i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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