i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
