I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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