I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
